is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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