I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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