Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
