If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
