420 ftw
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think people are normalizing furries
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
