Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
