So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
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I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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