Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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