Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
