so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
