i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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