How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
