I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
