At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize