Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
