I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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