i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
