his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
