Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
