You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
