Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
