is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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