Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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