It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Randomize
