it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
