I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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