I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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