He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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