Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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