Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
