There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
