So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
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she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
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I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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