Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
one two three fourrrrnication!
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i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
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So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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