you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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