Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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