I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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