Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
