but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
