the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
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