I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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