do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Is it because I queefed?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
