spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body