Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
