im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
