Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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