I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am mentally ready for anal.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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