U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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