She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
