Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
