Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
