Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
