I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
