Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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