you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
ttyl tear gas
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude. I can hear the air.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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