What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He shit in the fireplace
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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