Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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