oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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