My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
