all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
