I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
