He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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