? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Randomize
