he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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