This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
