Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
