Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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