u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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