she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
