just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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