You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
