maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
