@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
