i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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