At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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