i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
